girl you've got to understand, the modern man must hustle
my head is all over the place.. again.. go figure. i'm feeling such an absolute melange of things, it's getting more and more difficult to comprehend it all. and i feel bad, because it seems like just about all of my entries here are just full of myself not understanding a thing. but once again, the feeling has struck me and left me dumbfounded.
i guess i've just realized that the boy that i was so excited about in the last entry, the cornell one, might just be a bad idea. okay, not might, but probably is. i keep trying to force myself to believe anything but that. you know, i'm pulling the whole 'but we have the same taste in movies!' 'but he drives an audi!' 'but he goes to cornell!' 'but he studied in berlin for a year!' bullshit. i guess none of that's important, not even the audi, if we can't manage to hold a conversation without ending up with the same subject matter as always, and frankly, i'm sick of it. it's fun, sure, in moderation, but at the rate that he's pouring this shit on me, it's getting old.
this gives me the 10 days or so before i fly back.. and then the week or so before we both have our free time to see each other to decide if this is worth it or not. i'll admit it here, i've gotten myself hooked and it's getting a bit harder each day to pull myself away. and right now, i don't think i'm strong enough to pull the hook out of my lip and walk away. "mistook love at first sight for a sex look... the modern man's hustle, i dig it, i shuffle." oh atmosphere, you get me everytime.
other than this kid.. there's this coworker of mine. really, i've grown to love all of my coworkers, minus the two kids that just started. aside from the two, they're all comfortable messing around with me, and on slow days, we all just stand around and talk. it's incredible. however, there's alejandro, who's gotten to know me the best out of the lot and has no problem whatsoever teasing me. all the time. he throws orders at me, steals my chair, makes fun of me, accuses me of crying, and makes fun of me because he makes more money than i do. it's like elementary school all over again.. except, in the workplace?
but really, i don't mind. at all. he's sweet and he makes the stressful times a little more fun. but apparently, this sort of thing is frowned on in work situations. and apparently, i'm flying across the country soon. sweet. anyways, last night, we must have spent an hour and a half messaging each other on myspace. granted, he warned me of this, because i told him that he would miss me when i leave because he'll have no one to make fun of. he disagreed, saying he could either call me or harass me on myspace. i guess he kept his word? hm, whatever. i'm only writing all this because i'm desperately trying to look for a meaning behind words and actions. maybe i should just chill and just stop analyzing anything and everything that passes my way. sounds tough.. and i'm not liking the sound of anything tough right now.
