Posts (page 2)

i got the call from ritz camera this morning saying that all things are a-okay, and i'm starting on friday at 9am. 9am! i can't possibly wake up that early! or well, wake up early enough so i can get to fashion valley before 9. maybe this whole working thing was a poor idea.

i've thrown a party before, i know it brings along spills and messes and tons of empty cans and bottles. i guess i just forgot about that before offering to host the end of the year learning community party in my room. [one of many, many poor choices of the night.]

Layout

let me give you something to work with, regarding the dorms. they're small. ridiculously small. 18x10 feet, to be exact. subtract about 3 feet for each side's bed, and you're left with about a 4 foot wide area along the entire room of free space. when chairs are pulled out at the desks, located underneath the two beds, there is virtually no room in the back 1/3 of the room.

now i suppose this would be okay if you were just, say, sitting on the floor in the cramped up space, playing a few card games or listening to music. but throw in an ungodly amount of alcohol, because that's what we college students do best. and then throw in the desire to play beer pong. correction, make that a strong desire to play beer pong. [mistake number two, anyone?]

now, think about that 4 foot wide area of free space available. subtract about 3 feet from that, and that's where we were with the desks pulled out for our beer pong setting. now we add in the first 8 or so people. 4 on the floor, playing the game. since the 4 of us took up the rest of the free space in the room, the last 4 people we forced to climb up onto one of the beds. i never quite figured out why all 4 of them chose to sit up in my roommate's bed [which is terribly unstable. my friends and i, messing about the room the other night, found that out.], but they all did.

after 3 or so games of beer pong, [personal mistake number 3], i was ordered to get up in my bed and 'take a break.' games of pong continued, while others just watched me attempt to play super mario brothers on my super nintendo. key word: attempt. i've never performed so poorly at one of my favorite video games. ever. but it's fine, the other kids just got a complete kick out of it.

a handful of games later, we finally decided to push the desks back and clear up our original amount of free space. i've just realized that i don't remember this happening... but i do remember climbing down out of my bunk immediately after someone declared we were playing king's cup. we all have a guilty pleasure drinking game, king's cup is definitely mine. luckily i had already had enough to drink, so i was able to exclude myself from about 30% of the rules. [hallelujah. (:]

the night continued on well from there. we had a handful of friends who dropped in for a drink or two, played a few more games, and even had a few moments where we all burst out in song.. namely to tunes like 'bye bye bye,' 'thriller,' and of course, 'irreplaceable.' guests slowly trickled out as it got later.. although not too late realistically, as we decided to start the shindig at 6:00. [mistake number.. whatever.] and miraculously, we never got caught. i'm sure we were loud, and obnoxious, and i'm sure it was fairly obvious that there was alcohol located in my room on this dry, dry campus.

unfortunately, the night came to an end.. which meant saying goodbye to my LC kids for the summer. it was sweet, lots of hugs, and best wishes for the summer. goodbyes are always hard, luckily we weren't sober enough to be sad about it.. and i'm sure it'll all hit as everyone is driving away from school and as my mother and i finish packing up my room. i'm so close to home and it's getting so hard to leave.

forgive me, i'm sleepy and this is jumbled and random and etc.

i should be writing my bach paper. i mean, i really should be writing my bach paper. but i'm feel far too sentimental, what with the end of school coming up so quickly. in fact, after tuesday evening's critique, i'm completely done for the year.. but that's not mentioning the exam i have in about five hours, or the paper that's due tueday afternoon, or the left over work on my flash project. [if you visit the link, you'd notice the credits page doesn't work.. and i figure i should probably snap the light on a little faster. aside from that, i'm rather proud of the project.] this isn't the first time i've turned to vox to assist in my procrastination.. i guess typing in here is just a little easier, definitely compared to writing some massive essay about bach as a teacher.

my favorite nine and a half minute song just popped on, so i'm using that as my time limit on vox. as i'm sitting here, looking at my bare outline for my essay, i'm wondering if there's some other motive causing me to push off this paper more and more. i mean, it could very well be the fact that i'm just not ready to accept that my first year of college is over. that's a big thing to chew on anyways, isn't it? my first year, alone on the otherside of the country.. meeting new people, taking on classes and tough assignments.. growing, changing, and everything in between. a handful of big events happened up here.. and i've made so many ties, it's going to be hard to walk away, even if it's only for three months. i doubt things will change. i mean, we'll all work, party, hook-up, be lazy, and what not all back at home.. but it'll be so strange when we realize our friends aren't just a hallway or building away. forget that, some are an hour away, others are about 49 hours away. this entry is jumpy. my thoughts are just everywhere, i guess i can blame that on stress.. or maybe i'm just thinking too much about leaving.

so i guess three months isn't all that long.. i spent the last eight or so months up here, and that just flew by.. three months should pass like a blink of an eye. and it will be so great to just spend time with all of my friends from back at home. conversations on the phone or on AIM aren't the same as five minutes face to face. plus i have so many things to look forward to back at home, especially the handful of visitors from the east coast. hopefully.

maybe i'm just rambling, i am tired after all. this is my second all nighter in these past three days. and this is the second night i've spent around five hours working in the library in the past four days. week ten and eleven have definitely put a strain on me, no questions asked. i'll be happy to see the workload disappear for the summer, but not so much my RIT friends.

my song is ending. or well, okay, it ended a while ago.. i'm just typing slowly. my brain is moving a little too fast for my fingers, i guess. i think i should sleep more, that'd probably help too. too bad no doz makes me sick nowadays, it would be saving my ass at the moment. /: ahh oh well, after tuesday, i'll be done with school work for a good period of time. (: and after wednesday morning, i'll be able to hang out with my mom and have a going away party with my learning community! at least that's something to look forward to.

i wanted to believe in all the words that i was speaking
as we moved together in the dark
and all the friends that i was telling
and all the playful misspellings
and every bite i gave you left a mark

as tiny vessels oozed into your neck
and formed the bruises
that you said you didn't want to fade
but they did and so did i that day

so one last touch and then you'll go
and we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
but it was vile, and it was cheap
and you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me

i suppose that's how it has to be looked at, and although i don't like admitting it to myself.. death cab has never sounded so.. right. i'm not proud, i'm not disappointed [okay, that might be a lie], i'm just confused.

pardon my french, but you are a mother fucking hypocrite, my friend, if that's even what we could call ourselves. i know, i know, that's stretching it big time. friend is a god damn huge word in your book. but i've got to use some sort of noun and well, the ideas that you once presented, well those are full of shit. your term describes two people who care, care deeply about each other. we obviously don't.

so where am i going with this? i'm just sitting here, angry. but see, the thing is, i don't know whether i'm angry at you or myself. i was the one who threw myself into this whole mix, knowing very well about you. my friends despise you. they made that extremely clear when one tried to force you out of his room, while another simply described you as a 'horny douche' whom i should be careful around. [i should have listened.] you cheat on your girlfriend openly. [or ex girlfriend. or whatever you were going on and on about. pick a story and stick with it.] in fact, you even admitted this to me. and you even had the balls to tell her about me. and the others, there has to be others. i do feel like i should be pissed at myself. for making poor choices. for not listening to my friends. for listening so intently to such a smooth talker. looking back, i take that part back. smooth? nah, you were fucking sketch the whole way through. i was just too.. intrigued, naive, bored to care.

but then again, i think about it. you knew enough about me to figure out what was right, wrong, appropriate, whatever i don't know. you knew damn well what you were doing, so i give you props for that. er well, you did at first. but here's a hint: if you want a girl gone, don't hold her hand. don't IM her all the fucking time. don't tell her you might be starting to like her. don't take her out on a date. if you want something short and simple, fucking do it and bolt.

oh, and then don't fuck up and do the same thing you did to her to her close friend. i didn't expect you to be that stupid, but whatever. you're misleading. you're deceitful. you're a dick and i knew this. and i rolled along with it. one day you want me, the next you're after a new girl. and so what, so you probably had "one of the best times with that alex girl.." right, whatever. sure, keep telling that to my friend, that'll get her to go for you. take her on that walk to that japanese garden, just like you did to me. and ask for that kiss. because you know, if it worked for me, it'll definitely work for my friend. and it's not like us girls tell each other these types of things, so when you do it, she'll be completely surprised, i guarantee it. tell her during your walk that you aren't looking for a relationship, cause school's over in three weeks. and then later that night, best done within 10 minutes of said walk, talk about how you had such a great time with me and tell her that a relationship sounds good right about now.

you're a source of frustration. of distraction. i'm lucky we really don't know each other. well, not so much, i guess that puts me in a bad position too. so maybe i'm stupid. you're fickle, and i think that's a bit worse. make up your mind. stick to one girl. and if you're not doing that, then why don't you try not telling your current plaything about your others, because that's downright unattractive. i don't see why you can't see that as well.

talk to me again when you get your story straight, asshole.
you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me.

i'm sitting in the middle of my microeconomics class, bored to tears at the moment. seven weeks into the spring quarter, and i'm finally realizing that this class was a bad idea. however, there is very little room left to complain about my courses, seeing as i'm done in just under four weeks. (: the year went by extremely fast, and i'm a little shocked about it to be honest. it's been quite the wild ride, with the good and the bad.. and the suitcase full of situations that i just really didn't/still don't want to deal with. i know i'll definitely miss rochester while i'm back at home for the summer, but the thing is, i really can't wait to get back to san diego. hell, if anything, i can use home as an excuse to run away from the problems that i'm trying to avoid up here.

but then again, with each passing day, i'm looking forward to year two more and more. i'm not too sure about how spread out the word is so far, but my parents and i basically bought a brand new house up here. it's about a mile away from the academic side of campus, two stories, finished basement, four bedrooms, two and a half baths, attached two car garage, half porch, grey exterior, wine-colored shutters and door.. it's bound to be gorgeous. my father flew up here the other weekend to help finalize the contracts, as well as assisting with the whole design process. exterior colors, roof colors, shutter colors, door color, wall color, tile color, carpet color, trim color, counter top color, lighting fixtures, amendments to original floor plans and blue prints. it was like playing a real-life version of the sims.. although much more costly.. and without that handy +$100,000 cheat code.

the visit with my dad was great, though. i ended up staying in his hotel with him because any time away from my dorm and my roommate is spectacular. he flew into rochester, his hometown, on april 11th, his birthday, and i took him out to dinner to celebrate. the next night, after my time-based imaging class at 9:00pm, he took a few learning community friends and i out to dinner at TGIFs. the three of them, adam, crystal, and sarah, all fell in love with my dad. they thought he was so funny, and we all had a great time at dinner. and then the next night, he took out two of my future roommates, malcolm and christina, and myself for another dinner.. and really, the two of them weren't as impressed with my father as my learning community kids were. it was pretty disappointing. oh well, i guess i shouldn't really think anything of it.. you'd just think, "hey, this guy is buying a house to make sure his daughter and ourselves will have a place to stay in for the next few years, maybe i should be a little friendly." whatever.

other than the house, i can't quite tell how things are moving. i've tried to simmer down some of my partying habits, seeing as one bad night out in the woods with my lovely learning community left me with a boatload of good memories, but also hungover and hugging a toilet the next morning for about four hours. that was also the night that i realized that i really don't like drinking all that much.. and that i really, really don't like tequila. at all. so instead of partying this weekend.. or celebrating 4/20 like 90% of my campus was, malcolm and i decided to take a weekend trip up to canada. his aim was to get totally trashed, mine was just to get away from my roommate and her boyfriend. i love being nineteen and in canada, because it's like you're a legal adult. i can buy alcohol, cigarettes, gamble, and go clubbing.. although i didn't buy cigarettes, or gamble [mainly because i didn't understand how to use any of the games at the casino], nor did i go clubbing. i guess canada would be more fun if everyone who went was of age, oh well. the trip was still nice, mostly because malcolm let me do all the tourist-y crap that my dad never wanted to do, including mini-golf and the world record museum. (:

i don't know where to quite go from there. classes are.. okay. i'm hoping for an A in typography, a B in time-based imaging, and crossing my fingers for a B in bach&the baroque and principles of microeconomics. [speaking of, i need to remember these formulas: ATC=TC/Q, TC=FC+VX, ATC=FC/Q+VC/Q, ATC=AFC+AVC.] i've basically given up on relationships and crushes for the year, seeing as i'll be 3000 miles away from everyone i know up here in a few weeks.. although that doesn't change the fact that somehow, i am talking to a boy who's in a metal band, with a show coming up this weekend, and another one who's a computer science major at yale, as well as other random guys who i've been spending time with and talking to for the past few months. plus i'm still meeting new people, including a girl who went to chula vista high school, a bando to be exact, in my bach&the baroque class. it's nice to know that i'm not the only girl from southern california stuck out here in the cold. er, well technically hot, as it's been well over 75 degrees these past few days. i must say, that hot weather sure knows how to pull kids out of their dorms. i can look out the window to my left, see blue skies and tons of kids. girls tanning and doing homework, guys playing frisbee and football, it's intense and so unlike RIT. on that note, i think i should end this and start paying attention to my professor again, as class ends in ten minutes and i need to bust out of here as soon as possible to meet friends for dinner. our dining hall has a massive menu of professionally prepared foods tonight, i would have to die before missing it. :p

easter is coming up pretty soon, and i'm a little disappointed about it. pretty much every one of my friends is heading home to spend the holiday with their family and friends, while i'm stuck up in rochester. i don't mind a peaceful weekend every once in a while, but still.. it's techinically a holiday. and it's just another holiday away from my family.

maybe i spoke too soon. or maybe i didn't think everything through very thoroughly. or maybe i was just thinking about the wrong person when those lyrics suddenly felt so right. whatever it was, it was wrong.. but i fixed it. or at least, i'm working towards that.

you get me everytime

i need a break from all of my homework.. and i figured somehow, writing on my vox would be more productive than wasting a few hours on addictinggames.com. i've been working on my flash project ever since friday afternoon, minus a few breaks for floor antics, a bit of food, a party, and some sleep, and realistically, it hasn't been going too well. i feel like i haven't learned enough about flash to be able to complete my first animation. i'm struggling with transitions between scenes.. and my project has at least five different ones. how sad, such a basic skill, or at least i'm guessing it is, is holding me back. on tuesday, our professor wants 90% of it complete. i think i'm currently at 20%, maybe more if i find a way to put all of my different .fla files into one whole animation. i also had to make a poster for 300 for my typography class this weekend. the catch, no images and only one font. i managed to finish that last night right before i stepped out to go to a party. plus i still have a handful of economics problems to finish up, and about two chapters in my bach biography to read.